Birth Day

Though I might not have admitted it beforehand, I do not think I have ever had as many preconceived notions and expectations about an event as for my little baby's birth day. Now, it's been 2 months since the big day, and I am wondering where the time has gone! Wow. Nothing can describe the magic and the craziness of those first few weeks after our little girl came out into the world, but that won't stop me from trying to memorialize those first few hours and days.

Well, pregnant women are always being told to keep an open mind about the big day of arrival, not to get their heart set on a certain type of birth experience because no one can predict the hour of arrival, you never know what complications might arise, and the important thing to remember is that the ultimate outcome is what's important: a bouncing, new baby and healthy mom. Okay, sure, we all have to agree to that mentality on the surface, but let's be real. If I'm preparing for a "watermelon" to come out of my "lady spot" and for the arrival of my first child, the baby I've been dreaming of since I could say the word "baby," I'm going to have some expectations and hopes for the grand entrance. Who wouldn't? Of course, in my heart of hearts, I want a healthy baby more than a vaginal delivery, but I also dream of a smooth, painless, vaginal delivery that comes naturally and quickly...know what I mean? Furthermore, pregnant women are also subject to everyone else's pregnancy and birth experiences, adding to the expectations and madness.

To set my stage, I was expecting my baby to come late, most likely having to be induced, due to family history and since this was my first child. I was also expecting my epidural to allow me to "party through labor and delivery," due to experiences of family and the lady at the local coffee shop. I also expected my baby to be in just the right position for delivery, based on what I thought I'd heard at the birth class we had attended. My first nurse at the hospital also told me that, based on my cervix and position of my baby, once things got going, that baby was gonna come FAST...Well, my baby came on her own terms and I love her for it and despite it. (1) I started having contractions the moment I woke up on my Due Date! I had been saying that if my baby decided to come of her own accord (instead of being smoked out via induction), it would be a Christmas miracle. So, of course, it took several hours of contractions that increased in frequency and duration to actually believe this was the real deal. (2 & 3) I actually did feel like I was having an epidural party for the first few hours after I got it, but that slowly but steadily ended, and the last chunk of my 20 hours of labor/delivery was definitely not a party. However, once she made her big debut, the party immediately started up at 3:47AM the "morning" after her due date. (4) As it turned out, she slowed things down considerably by being "sunny side-up" or with her face looking up instead of down, however we powered through and got to have a vaginal delivery instead of a c-section. Thanks to God's answer to the many prayers over that event, truly.

As for holding her for the first time, I don't know what my expectations were exactly, but I know she surpassed them. Getting to know her in a whole new way during the first few weeks was such a precious time. Discovering what a sweet baby she is and how soft and cuddly and cute this little person that relies on me for food and comfort and help in figuring out the world is such a special gift from God. Looking her in the eyes for the first time, feeling her little fingers wrap around one of mine, changing her tiny little diaper, dressing her in the itty-bitty newborn outfits that are still too big for her are just a few of the experiences that give a new sense of wonder and appreciation for what God has done and created. Humanity is a frail, beautiful thing. Love that produces life, what an amazing creation.